viernes, 8 de junio de 2012
Two things I won't miss
I just came back from my Honey Moon – that, and my Wedding can count as the best moments of my life but of that, we’ll talk later. We ask my mother in law about a cousin we couldn’t see at the wedding. She tell us she was kidnapped with her husband two days before our wedding, to be released the same night. She was too upset to get out, thus she couldn’t made it. The phone rings, and the person at the other side tell us about another cousin who was robbed inside his own house the night before. The robbers entered the house pretending they were delivering a gift. Next, they tie up everyone and took everything they could: TV’s, computers and the family’ car.
A couple of days later after hearing such stories, I met my girlfriends for lunch. They haven’t see me since the wedding and the table is filled with funny anecdotes about one of the girls who got drunk, how cute my dress was and every single detail I could tell them about my Honeymoon. When we laugh remembering the part when we were singing Shakira' old hits, one girl – lets call her Adela – interrupts – “Well, I was gone by then” – “That’s right!” – Another friend adds – “I wonder why you left the party so early…” – “Well, you know my mom” – Adela explains – “Just a day before, a man was shoot to death right under my mother’ eyes. So she’s more paranoid than ever” – We all nodded in sign of approval. I tell them that as selfish as it might sound, I don’t want to keep talking about it, I want to keep the happy atmosphere we had before.
Cristina, another friend, agrees- “There are two conversation topics I can’t stand: insecurity and emigration” – She says. I clear my throat “Well Cristina… I’m sorry” – “Yeah, yeah… I know” – She answers, resigned. My husband got into grad school and I’m going abroad with him. For at least two years we won’t be in
Venezuela. It is not a permanent thing, but is relevant enough. Many things can change in two years, things here change so fast, for better and for worse. And after two years living somewhere else, somewhere entirely different, I know that we will return as two completely different individuals than what we are now. You can say that people never change, even less adults. But I have already said good bye to enough friends to know that once they put their feet and their routines in a foreign land, even if they don’t want to, they change. Same will happen to us now.
After lunch, we return to my old office – Side note: once my husband was admitted, I quit my job: every day now is filled with calls and paperwork related to our departure, we have to focus on that now. The accountant asks one of us to go with her to the supermarket. By some miracle, today there is milk available. She wants to buy some for her but also some for her daughter in law. Every person is only allowed to buy one or two packages of milk. Cristina goes with her. I save all the wedding photos my friends brought me in my hard-drive and say good bye.
Lately, as understandable, I have had all kinds of opposite emotions at the same time. I’m happy and excited for the fabulous moments I have lived lately, and for those I’m about to live. At the same time, comes all the nostalgia for leaving my home, and parents. I lived with them for 27 years, it is not easy to leave them behind. And it is a little bit harder when this includes, also, to move to a place so far away, available only through a couple of planes. I’m trilled about this moving and proud of my husband’ achievements. But this includes to start from scratch in a new land.
When I look at my country, I don’t know where to look. What to take and what to keep. People talk a lot about politics and economics and all those big and complicated things people like to talk to think about themselves as smart people. They talk about
Venezuela’ situation, Venezuela’ crisis. They make rough analysis about Capriles’ chances to win or Chavez unknown’ disease. But as you have seen, in our daily life, the Venezuelan “crisis” can roughly be only about two major issues: insecurity and shortages.
Those are two things my country including everyone around me is suffering. Two things not even my wedding could overpass. Two things that worry me daily. Out of the million things I will miss – perhaps I’ll talk about it next – those are two things I surely won’t.